Are you a No 1 Dad?

We all know the importance of the Father figure.

It is regularly preached off the pulpit:

“how you related to your earthly Father is how you relate to Father God

9 years ago my child’s play school sent letters home asking Dads to please spend time with their children as the children at school are saying “Dad leaves before I wake up and gets home after I am sleeping”

Logical deduction: they very seldom see their Dads.

Conclusion: God is an absent Father/God.

The devil has been successful in removing the Dads with the logical reasoning of “Dad has to bring the money in for us to live”. I recently asked 150 people of various ages and population for their favorite Father/Child memory. I was shocked !!! More than half of the ones that replied (and my response to that question was tremendous) told me that they have no memory of their Father! More than two-thirds of the replies said their Dads were drunks or their Dads were abusive towards them and they don’t have a happy memory. About 10 people responded with really pleasant memories!

                   Now we know the devil succeeded….

The next trend I’ve notices in the last 10 years plus is just as bad as the Father trend. For many years if the Father worked hard or was absent, at least the Mother was at home to love and accept the Children.

Now days Moms are working harder than Dads and by the time they get home, they are too tired and the children are “rejected” again for either a sleep, household chores such as cooking or washing or shopping, a TV program, a social engagement, gym or school sport!

But I am a working Mom! Different terminology, but same result as an Absent Dad!

Some questions to think about:

Has the devil managed to successfully remove the “Wall of protection” that the parents should create for the children?

Are our children been raised as I would classify as “orphaned or abandoned” as neither parent is there for their children?

Is it easier for us as parents to go to a full-time job than to raise our own children?

When the Bible says “train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it”, what is “THE WAY” that we as Christian parents are raising our children in? Neglect, abandonment, love deprived?

When do I actually love my children?

Children imitate their parents. Are they learning “people (the only “thing” that Jesus died for) are not important”?

Personally, I think it is easier going to work. Because when I see the challenges my children have had to face, I have never had the right answer to the situations. It has been hard work forcing myself to enquire from God how my child must handle their situations. It has meant I’ve had to spend time in the Word to find Biblical answers! Hard…because like every parent…I also want an easier life, with more luxuries and less responsibility.

I have had to learn to love my children when I don’t want to love! When I have felt so empty because of the blows life has dealt me!

I’ve had to find the strength to tell them “tomorrow is going to be ok” even when I did not know when or if the  “light at the end of the tunnel”  was going to appear.

I have had to learn what ever I say my children process and reproduce…life or death. Was I teaching them that Death has more power than LIFE?

It takes time, patience and deliberate effort to love my children. And sometimes it gets the better of me, but then I remember: Jesus gave us one commandment: “Love one another” and what better place to start than loving my own little people. The reward for me has been I’ve learnt more about God and me than what I could ever impart into them!

They are so rewarding to love!

Our children are amazing…let’s love them more!!!

or should our Father’s Day and Mother’s Day badges be reading:

absent Mom
Am I an absent Mom?

absent Fathers


Woman of God: Modern Day Esther and our Government

What a perfect time in our beautiful nation’s timeline to discuss one of the most popular woman in the Bible, Esther!

The part of Esther’s story that grips us all and keeps us riveted, is the idea of being pampered in a spa for an entire year! What body would not flourish after a year of pampering! It is a thought we all equate directly to heaven!

                  So much so that we actually overlook many very obvious facts about Esther!

  • Esther was an orphan – not a fate any of us would like to process emotionally – thus in todays terms, an emo teenager?
  • Esther was, in not such harsh terms – abducted or taken hostage by the King’s men – if we or our daughters went through that, we would all be screaming about our rights and our 1 phone call! In today’s terms, permanently in therapy cause she’s to emotionally unstable to overcome?
  • Esther was been “interviewed”, for the position of Queen, by having to sleep with someone not her husband or betrothed or even loved by her – in today’s terms – a possible Golddigger

Sounds very much like we are a couple of plastic bags & white powder short of a modern-day human trafficking story!

The only reason we accept the story of Esther without flinching is because we know the outcome. Esther goes on to become Queen, the “bad man in the story” Haman tries to eradicate her race (genocide) and Esther saves the

day by doing the “right” things. A classique story of Good overcomes Evil. And for the feminist amongst us, “Whoooaaa a woman saved the day!”

Now matter which way we look at it, if we do not relate to Esther’s emotional journey, we will never make the parallel to where the world is at today. Many of us have had absent, divorced, been emotionally deprived by not having loving, caring & upbuilding parents in our lives. That has left us with an orphan spirit.

Many of us have had many of our rights stolen, actually, more rights than you are even aware of. We know we have rights and we sense in the spirit they have been stolen, but because of our inability to identify them, we retaliate in the natural and focus on the natural which leads to insecurity, been intimidated, division, hatred, a spirit of fear spreading and a wave of helplessness growing, “nothing that I or anyone else does is going to change these situations”.

Sometimes we feel that the right to have a life or to be alive has been stolen from us.

Esther’s legal guardian, Mordecai and the Jews faced were faced with certain death on a specific date with the approval of the King. Their very right to live was threatened. They reacted the way we all would.

Esther 4:1-3

1 When Mordecai perceived all that was done, Mordecai rent his clothes, and put on sackcloth with ashes, and went out into the midst of the city, and cried with a loud and a bitter cry;

2 And came even before the king’s gate: for none might enter into the king’s gate clothed with sackcloth.

3 And in every province, whithersoever the king’s commandment and his decree came, there was great mourning among the Jews, and fasting, and weeping, and wailing; and many lay in sackcloth and ashes.

In today’s terms:

  • We can dress in black (our equivalent of Mordecai’s sackcloth and ashes) all we want.
  • We can arrange protests or marches every day of the year.
  • We can badmouth our leaders in public.
  • We can blog, Facebook, Twitter and print all we want to.

None of it changes our situation. All it does is to spread the Fear. Fear is extremely contagious, more so than any biological weapon man can invent. The best acronym for fear I’ve ever heard is “False Evidence Appearing Real”

Many (across the world) are feeling that their governments do not have their interest or their rights at heart. Many consider the option that if only we have a godly government, it will be so much better for us. What we do not realise is, is that a godly government and ungodly government do not exist. Israel had the choice of God and government and they choose the government over God. Governments have never been God’s 1st choice for His children. God Himself wanted to reign over His people.  God told Samuel that Israel had rejected Him by choosing a government. According to 1 Samuel 8:6-18, there is only one type of government and one type of action (fruit) of a government. Those consequences did not specify a godly or ungodly government, only government.

1 Sam 8:11-18: 

11 This will be the behavior of the king who will reign over you: He will take your sons and appoint them for his own chariots and to be his horsemen, and some will run before his chariots.

12 He will appoint captains over his thousands and captains over his fifties, will set some to plow his ground and reap his harvest, and some to make his weapons of war and equipment for his chariots. 13 He will take your daughters to be perfumers, cooks, and bakers.

14 And he will take the best of your fields, your vineyards, and your olive groves, and give them to his servants.

15 He will take a tenth of your grain and your vintage, and give it to his officers and servants.

16 And he will take your male servants, your female servants, your finest young men, and your donkeys, and put them to his work.

17 He will take a tenth of your sheep. And you will be his servants.

18 And you will cry out in that day because of your king whom you have chosen for yourselves, and the Lord will not hear you in that day.

 Still, the people chose to have a government. And this was where the complaining against the government started! The government is not interested in the people who voted them in, we have to pay too much in taxes, we pay taxes and our roads are never fixed, they declare a war and our children have to go fight and get killed, health policies are not adequate, pensions to the elderly are insufficient for them to live from. In summary, everything the government does is never good enough for anybody.

Even though we as people made the government choice, God’s heart was still for us to have the best, which is Him as our King. So once again, God had a principle in place knowing that our choice would soon leave us controlled, in bondage and poverty stricken.

In our story, Esther was taken by the king’s guards and was in our terms “pampered” with 6 months of oil of myrrh, and 6 months of with perfumes and preparations for beautifying women. (Est 2 v 12)

The symbolism of Esther in our society is that Esther is the church in preparation for her king, and God is the king. The part we miss which costs us and other people dearly, is the part of the time period of separation and PREPARATION for a year.

The myrrh is used to, what we would call detox, cleanse and heal the body. We as believers, need to come and be detoxed of our old ways of thinking. We need to be cleansed of the way the world system operates and we need to be healed.

It is a time to overcome and get rid of that which separates us from God.

We then need to be “rubbed down with oils and perfumes” to make us beautiful before the king. There is a time of preparation needed to make us think, walk, talk and behave like royalty.

The way I like to phrase it: “we need to learn to think beauty, talk beauty, walk beauty and act beauty, and have beautiful intentions because everything about God is beautiful and good”.  This side of the process is fun if we tackle it scripturally.

Many Christian are inclined to skip both these processes and to announce themselves as conquerors, overcomers and having the mind of Christ, and they go even further to say, they act and speak on behalf of the King, whilst in reality, all they have done is get saved.

What we as people do not realise, it is our actions and words that give away our source of thinking, not just words. If you have the mind of Christ, life looks different, you act different, you think different, you speak different, you treat other people as important.

Many of us want to race through the process to gain access to the king. Once the king extends his ear, we air our grievances and according to us: the king needs to deal out justice very swiftly on the people that harmed us. If we are still of the mindset that “I am right and another person is wrong”, we have not quite perfected the mind of Christ yet. We need to realise, irrespective of who is right or wrong, God loves us all. God loves the saved and the unsaved equally. If we are wanting God to “judge” somebody for an injustice (even if it is against God’s word), we still need to go back to the “oil of the Myrrh” so we can detox and be in health.

One of the purest signs that Christians have the mind of Christ, is when they can look at other people and acknowledge that God loves them, that Jesus died for them, and that we as the “Esthers” in the our times, are prepared to risk our lives to appear before the king to petition on behalf of an unsaved, and often in our opinion, an ungodly person.

God in His mercy and love still made a way for us to live the life that He wanted for us to have under His reign. God’s heart for us has always been to have a life “quiet and peaceful life in all godliness and honesty”.

In 1 Tim 2:1-3, God tells us how to obtain the life He intended us to have:

1. I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men;

2 For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty.

3 For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour;


The very 1st thing God want us to do, is to pray for all men, kings, and all that are in authority. Why you may ask, does God want me to pray for a government if it is not a godly institution and never can be?

God puts up a huge billboard telling us if we go in the direction He points us in   “So that we may lead a quiet and peaceful life in all Godliness and honesty.”

No more spending that extra money on alarm systems, burglar bars, trellidors, electric fences, pepper sprays, etc!

If we obey God by praying, God kicks in His overriding “principle” or “clause” and He promises to turn the heart of our rulers in the direction He wants.

Prov 21:1

The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will.

And we all know, GOD ONLY WANTS TO BLESS US!!!!!!!! There is no evil in Him.

So the flip side of the coin is rather obviously, if we are NOT living a quiet and peaceful life with no godliness and no honesty…. can we make deduce that the Christians are either NOT PRAYING or are NOT PRAYING CORRECTLY the way God instructed us too?

We should not be praying for a godly government, it will not solve our problem.  We should be praying that our current leaders get to know Jesus as their Lord and Saviour. God’s heart is that no man, woman or child should ever be lost for eternity. He created hell for the devil and his demons. Not for the people God created and whom He loves. What we should be praying is for God to reconcile our leaders, pastors, families, friends (1 Tim 2 v 1 reads: ALL MEN) hearts to Him.

It is not our job to pray our leaders in and out of positions, because God promotes (and by flip side of the coin, allows a person to be removed from office as well). It is not our job to overthrow governments; it is our job to honor them as Rom 13 v 7 tells us too. It is not our job to judge whether our government is doing what we think is a good or a bad job.

Because Israel chose Plan B, God showed us through His Word how His children could still bring about His purpose of peace on this earth, even if we are under the rule of a government.

I’ve been following people’s responses to the secrecy bill this week, and this was the truest statement I read:

“Ag u know all I’v read and seen today about the Bill being passed is b*tch, b*tch b*tch, bt guess what I bet as citizens we won’t even try, stand together or actually take action against this horrifying reality.

We all still gonna sleep tyt tonight, go about tomoros events as if nothing happened and basically sit back and wait til tragedy or something BIGGER takes place to get us off our feet. Everyone is good at following

but no one knows how to lead…”

A direct quote from one of SA’s Young Adults (aged 20)

This is what our future thinks of us as the leaders. Our future is in a bad state when our young people can identify that we have no leaders who have courage to lead. We have the same disease the Israelites had when they choose a king.

We want someone else to go and do the responsible thing, while we do the easy thing, judge and complain.

Rom 13 v 14 tells us to put on Christ (specifically when dealing with the government) and make no provision for the flesh.

Let’s dig down deep inside and separate ourselves to God for our “Year of Pampering”. Entering  into our King’s presence boldly bringing about the deliverance the people of this beautiful nation need. Let’s not waste time by doing the wrong thing and bringing about the undesired results.

Lets Lead in Prayer!